Wednesday, 27 July 2016

The Interview

"What the hell?!" swore the sound engineer, loud enough for bystanders to hear, silent enough not to be heard on the record. On producers unspoken question, she had only to raise one of her perfect eyebrows, he retorted: "It's the third mike, that gave out on me, all on him and the recording has not been started."

The almost helpless engineer referred to Magnus Peterson, who sat in his guests chair all while maintaining his oblivious posture.

"I, sort of, warned you guys..." was the only reaction the host was rewarded with as he watched helplessly as stage technician rushed to remove the dead microphone.

It was obvious that the host will start sweating uncontrollably any minute now.

All while watching this, Monica, the producer with the perfect eyebrows, and eyebrows were not the only perfect part of her body, turned to the sound engineer and sad in her most sultry voice.

"Gunnar, figure it out please!", the please was said  in way that any half-straight man would sell his soul, if asked.

"If we make this happen, there will be no worries about ratings for while. This is the first time he agreed to any sort of interview. We'll be the first to pull it off, and we'll stay first for a while."

"... we could always try the parabolic mikes ..." muttered Gunnar, trying no to choke on his saliva, barely averting eyes from Monica's torso, perfect torso.

"I knew you'll come up with something, you're the best!"

Meanwhile Magnus Peterson mused by himself - "How many more of the equipment will be destroyed, before they resolve to some other sound recording method?"

Upon seeing a parabolic microphone being trained towards him, Magnus turned to Valentine, hist host and said in almost cheerful  "So, shall we start then?" His tone suggested that Magnus has had his own silent 'I told you so' moment and had rather enjoyed it. That's just how some wizards are.

A short while later the light, that signalised that the airing has commenced, came on.

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to our show! Todays guest is Magnus Peterson, the only wizard you can find in yellow pages. Good morning, Magnus! Is it okay id I refer to you by first name?"

“Good morning! And yes - it is ok, as you say. Although it is custom between wizards to prepend ‘wizard’ and we use only the last name."

“So, you’re not the only one?"

“Why, no! Of course I am not the only, just I am not the most shy one."

“And why is that?"

“Well … one has to earn his living some way!"

“If you are a wizard, why don’t you turn a pile of junk in gold whenever you need?"

“As funny as it may seem, it is not that simple - basic laws of nature and physics still apply."

“So you can’t do it?” Magnus felt that Valentine has gotten over his initial uneasiness.

“I certainly can!"

“Can you do right here?” it looked like Valentine started to gain momentum

“I probably could do it, but I really do not want to upset your producer, you know, the one with a rich and sultry voice ..."

“And how could you do that?"

“There would be a massive energy build-up that could prove quite harmful to any electric apparatus in here."

The explanation left Valentine a bit puzzled, albeit for a moment.

“So, you’re saying that any electric malfunction is a sign of some kind of supernatural activity?!"

“Not necessary, sometimes there are other explanations as well."

“But if , for example, my watch, my phone start failing and the lights flicker as well?"

“Seek refuge beyond a threshold, running water or on a holy ground."

“Why should I?"

“Do you remember the myth that vampires must be invited into a home before they can enter? That applies to magic as well."

“Wait a minute, vampires are real as well? As are pixies, unicorns and leprechauns?” the taunt in Valentines voice was unmistakable.

“Well … Valentine is it?” Magnuss voice suddenly sounded as cold as a bucket of ice-water. Cold wave washed over everybody present and, to Gunnars surprise,  Monicas body reacted accordingly.

“I came here in good faith and I will not tolerate any disrespect!"

Then Magnus turned to one of the cameras directly “Remember, what I just said - electronics start to misbehave, streetlights start to flicker - look for cover!"

Then hands, suddenly, stretched sideways, with a mischievous smile on his lips, Magnus said his goodby “It was fun being here!” Upon finishing the sentence the hands came together with a thunderous clap. All the stage lights, trained on Magnus, gave out in spectacular rain of sparks., allowing Magnus leave almost unnoticed.

“That was perfect!” muttered Monica, not fully aware of her nipples pressing against the black, slim t-shirt she so loved to wear.


“Mhmm…” was the only sound Gunnars mustered with his throat bone dry and the stiff gaze still tied to Monicas torso. 

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